I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
