we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
