He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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