Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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