When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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