i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
