Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
It's never too late to be topless.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Randomize
