i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
