The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
