sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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