Don't make out with my wife yet
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
