I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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