This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
