What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
we're so committed to being not committed
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
