She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
