thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
