I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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