margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
