Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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