she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
She needs sedatives and a leash
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
