you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
My butt remains clenched, sir.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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