i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
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