your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
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