Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
