Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
