Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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