if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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