Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
