Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
