We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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