how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
