I'm drive I can fine osifer
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
