I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
