Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
