i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
