all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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