My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
