I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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