when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
