That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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