I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
