So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
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