Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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