i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
