my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
this beer tastes like vomit already
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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