No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
