is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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