She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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