I like to think it a success when the cops are called
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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