I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
