I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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